Dads have an important job: Paint an accurate image of God the Father by the brush of your example.
One of the ways we image the Father is by affirming our children as He did with Jesus on the day of His Baptism, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”
The foundation of your kids’ emotional, intellectual and spiritual maturation is rooted on the certainty of being your beloved.
Here are eight practical ways to affirms your kids.
Verbal affirmation—At any given moment you can speak a word of praise or encouragement, “Hey, Thomas, I’ve noticed how positive you’ve been with your younger siblings. It isn’t easy sometimes but you still choose to do it. I really appreciate it and so do they.” Verbal affirmation doesn’t have to be elaborate, just make sure it’s sincere.
Spend time with them—Busyness is a modern-day-curse. Free time is a valuable asset because it is so rare. What you do with your free time communicates what matters most to you. Your kids know how busy you are, so giving them quality time will speak a loud message of love to their hearts. Remember, kids spell love T.I.M.E. (thank you Steve Wood).
Lunch bag notes—Take out an index card and write something like, “Five Incredible Qualities I See in You: 1) You always work hard at soccer practice, 2) You clean up after you make a mess in the kitchen, 3) You use your words to bless others, 4) You have a deep peace in your heart especially when writing exams, 5) You are generous with your video games.” Full disclosure: I learned this idea from Author, Anthony Parisi.
Surprise them with a gift—Pick up a gift for no reason other than to say, “I was thinking of you.” The gift doesn’t have to be expensive or difficult to obtain. A carton of chocolate milk is one of my favorites which I can pick up at any gas station for less than $2. If you want to get something a little more special but just can’t think of something, ask for help. The art of gift-giving may not come naturally to you, but somebody in your life can probably help.
Honour them when others are around—This takes a little awareness to notice the perfect moment. When you know your child can hear you, speak up to others about their virtues, or some way you see them improving or overcoming a challenge. Some parents hold back their praise thinking it might lead to pride, that’s just not true. The bible encourages us to walk in humility, but also exhorts others to affirm, “Not your own mouth, but let others praise you” (Proverbs 27:2).
Express physical affection—No need to be elaborate or weird, just wrap them up for a hug and give them a tight squeeze. In the moment, a quick, “You’re awesome,” goes a long way. If hugging makes you squirm (or your child!), a hand on the shoulder can communicate the same message or a love tap on the leg as you drive them to practice.
Attend to their heart—It is a powerful experience, especially for children, when someone in authority seeks to understand their feelings. It isn’t what happens to us that matters but the meaning we attach to it that makes the most impact. Creating a safe place for your child to process the emotional roller coaster of life is incredibly validating. You may not agree with their perspective or be able to give them their way, but you could let them know you understand how they feel and love them for their sincere heart.
Celebrate good decisions—Much of parenting is about helping your kids to make wise choices and good decisions. In fact, if you succeed in this area, you have given your child one of the best gifts anyone can give, “a wise and discerning heart.” When your kids make a smart decision, celebrate! Honour the small decisions in the moment, “Sarah, I saw you outside. The boys wanted you to play basketball but you decided to come in and finish your studying. That was a hard decision, but you made the right choice and I think you’re going to do well in school with those kinds of decisions.” Make a big deal of the bigger decisions. Propose a toast at the family meal or take everyone out to acknowledge their milestone.
The less there is of something in the world, the more valuable it becomes.
Affirmation is valuable because many of us live without it. Dads and moms, let affirmation fill your house and watch your kids soar.
Dads have an important job: Paint an accurate image of God the Father by the brush of your example. Click To Tweet Affirmation is valuable because many of us live without it. Dads and moms, let affirmation fill your house and watch your kids soar. Click To Tweet Dear Dad: Verbal affirmation doesn’t have to be elaborate, just make sure it's sincere. Click To Tweet Some parents hold back their praise thinking it might lead to pride, that’s just not true. “Not your own mouth, but let others praise you Click To Tweet It is a powerful experience, especially for children, when someone in authority seeks to understand their feelings. Click To Tweet Creating a safe place for your child to process the emotional roller coaster of life is incredibly validating. Click To Tweet