TURNING CONFLICT INTO OPPORTUNITY – FIVE WAYS

Organizations are getting flatter every day.

Pyramids are dissolving and informal networks are emerging as the new organizational structure.

As the world of work changes, leadership is shifting as well, moving away from a command and control style.

Pyramids are dissolving & informal networks are emerging as the new organizational structure. Leadership is shifting as well, moving away from a command and control style. Click To Tweet

To get what they need, leaders are compelled to negotiate – to listen to the interests of others, to forge an outcome that all sides welcome as their own. Decision making is shifting from vertical to horizontal.

Decision making is shifting from vertical to horizontal. Leaders are compelled to negotiate - to listen to the interests of others and to forge an outcome that all sides welcome as their own. Click To Tweet

Nowadays, leaders in every industry depend on dozens of individuals over whom they have little or no direct control. No longer can leaders lead from their position of authority. No longer can they lead from their side of the aisle or their box in the org chart.  The new leadership demands authority with people, not over people.

Even in the Church, a hierarchical organization, pastoral leaders need to learn new skills to navigate the ever-changing and demanding congregational landscape.

Dealing with differences, listening to opposing viewpoints, engaging in constructive dialogue, seeking consensus amid a host of conflicting parties – this is a far more complex undertaking than merely ‘barking out orders’ as leaders were able to do in times past.

The new model of leadership puts healthy conflict at the center. Leaders must move beyond the primordial response to conflict that focus on differences, entrenching everyone in a ‘us versus them’ paradigm.

The mishandling of conflict is so widespread that it limits almost every organization in the world, yes, even the local parish.

The mishandling of conflict is so widespread that it limits almost every organization in the world, yes, even the local parish. Click To Tweet

Conflict is no longer something to be minimized or managed but something to be led, something to be leveraged as an opportunity.

“The best teams are not afraid to engage in passionate dialogue around issues and decisions that are key to the organization’s success. They do not hesitate to disagree with, challenge, and question one another, all in the spirit of finding the best answers, discovering the truth, and making great decisions. The leaders role is to mine for conflict in conversations” (Patrick Lencioni).

This kind of productive conflict requires personal and professional skills that transform conflict into opportunities for collaboration, innovation and increasing engagement.

I propose five new skills leaders need to get the most out of conflict.

1. Magnanimous Vision. Leaders emotionally commit to hold all sides of the conflict in their mind and heart and demand that everyone in the dialogue do the same. This is more about empathy and altruism then technique. When tensions rise, if one does not commit to seeing as much of the larger picture as possible, you won’t. Most walls that divide people as ‘us and them’ mark the borders of our love. Magnanimous vision means questioning any dividing line that separates. As the old saying goes, “You cannot judge and understand at the same time.”

TURNING CONFLICT INTO OPPORTUNITY – FIVE WAYS Click To Tweet

2. Map the Contribution System. Once your intention is focused on seeking to understand the whole conflict, you naturally want to think systemically. Leaders need to identify all the significant elements related to the conflict and the relationships between these contributing factors, the contribution system. The ideal is that all stakeholders sees the same map and build on that unity of vision.

3. Inquiry. No one can understand the total picture without asking questions. No matter how smart we think we are, a time will come when we need the wisdom of others. If we do not seek that wisdom and perspective, our vision will be limited and our resolutions deficient. Leaders ask generative questions that elicit essential information vital for understanding how to transform the conflict into an opportunity. These questions must be asked from an authentic place of curiosity, rather than making statements disguised as questions.

No matter how smart we think we are, a time will come when we need the wisdom of others. If we do not seek that wisdom and perspective, our vision will be limited and our resolutions deficient. Click To Tweet Leaders ask generative questions surfacing information that helps to transform conflict into an opportunity. These questions must be asked from an authentic place of curiosity, rather than making statements disguised as questions. Click To Tweet

4. Meaningful Dialogue. The ultimate end of any dialogue is mutual understanding. As tensions rise, so does the need to focus on listening well. If all the stakeholders were committed to listening in order to understand not listening to respond, fewer conflicts would end up in a stalemate and more would get to a place of mutual resolution.  At the heart of meaningful dialogue is choice. Choose first to understand, then to be understood. This trust-building way of communicating maximizes the human capacity to bridge.

5. Innovative Bridging. Transforming conflict into opportunities for innovation and creativity rarely occur because of one person’s genius. Usually, it is the result of a bridge across divisional lines. Once everything is on the table, leaders find ways to build ideological partnerships, alliances and coalitions among the group. Verbal exchange, however meaningful, is not enough. Stakeholders must decide to do something together in partnership. When this shift occurs, breakthrough is now possible.

At the heart of meaningful dialogue is choice. Choose first to understand, then to be understood. This trust-building way of communicating maximizes the human capacity to bridge. Click To Tweet

We have all seen the negative effects of mishandled conflict. Whether at work, in your parish, community organization or family you have seen differences magnified; relationships polarized; cooperation stifled. The unfortunate result is mistrust, angst, pain and, at times, even revenge. At best, our work is less effective than it should be which is particularly tragic when it comes to mishandled conflict in the Church – where the mission matters most.

No one is eager to lead a meeting that is guaranteed to be conflictive. As a result, many teams, organizations and communities avoid confronting their most challenging conflicts and, consequently, fail to reap the benefits. A new leadership model is needed, one that puts healthy conflict at the centre of our collective futures.