Andrea and I were married on May 20th, 1995 so this year was a big milestone – 25 years! The kids were awesome in the way they helped us celebrate. It wasn’t easy with all the COVID-sensitive planning they had to do, but this past week was full of surprises and special moments. Thanks, guys!
Today begins a 5-part series (Monday-Friday) to share some of the bigger lessons we have learned over the years. Some readers have been requesting a daily blog with shorter posts, so here it is – just for a week.
Lesson 1: Keep Jesus at the Centre
Before we married Andrea and I had profound conversion experiences. By conversion, I mean that we accepted by a personal decision, the saving love of Jesus Christ and became His disciples. We came to know Him not as a mere paradigm or historical figure but as the Living Lord, the express image of the invisible God, the Way, the Truth and the Life.
It was important for us, early on in our marriage and still continues today, to begin each day in prayer. Every morning we rise without delay as another act of consecration to the Lord. The mere habit of keeping this daily appointment with Him has been a source of steady deposits of grace into our souls and into our marital union. By far, the most important decision we ever made.
Early on in our marriage, we decided to begin each day with prayer. This daily deposit into our souls and into our marital union has been the most important decision we ever made. Share on XMost mornings are fairly routine. No lightning bolts from heaven, no angelic visitors, and no audible voices but we return each morning. Often before the sun rises we enter the inner room of our hearts made one by the sacrament of marriage, giving Jesus the first part of our day, confirming to Him that he has first place in our lives and our home.
We know by faith that He is the protagonist in the relationship. Each step we take toward Him is a response of faith to the steps He has taken toward us. Each morning we sit down on the couch with our bibles and coffee, He is already waiting for us, anticipating our meeting.
Most days we glean unobservable graces but they are are still powerful and built up over time. They have been a game-changer in our marriage and family life. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to raise 8 kids, work in the ministry and navigate all of life’s ups and downs without a daily, meaningful connection with the Lord in prayer together.
Most mornings we spend in prayer are fairly routine. No lightning bolts from heaven, no angelic visitors, and no audible voices. The unobservable but still powerful graces built up over time have been a game-changer. Share on XOver the years, the forms of prayer have changed and evolved. Each method was well aligned with the spiritual season we were in at the time. A few fundamentals are always present – scripture, spiritual reading, meditation, intercession, journaling. The books we choose for spiritual reading are important because, as St Teresa of Avila said, “Good spiritual reading is like bait for the soul.”
It is natural for our prayer lives to go through dry seasons. Many mornings my soul seems to remain asleep while my body wakes up with a morning cup of coffee. I need something to grab my attention and bring the focus onto Jesus. The Lord has used many books to resuscitate my prayer time. Jacques Philippe, Ralph Martin, and John Eldredge come to mind as some of the authors that impacted my walk with the Lord.
At the present time, Andrea and I pray morning prayer together using the Magnificat before we go into our own individual time of scripture and spiritual reading followed by journaling.
I typically have my Full Focus Planner nearby in case a “to-do” pops into my mind. I find that if I don’t have somewhere to deposit that thought in writing, it will be a constant source of distraction for me. After writing it down in my planner, I can get back to focusing my attention in prayer. Maybe some of you are too holy to be bothered by such minor distractions, I still have a way to go!
Funny story to illustrate how we live this out. As I was writing this post, I was looking for Andrea’s feedback. She is very wise and has much to contribute to the subject. Also, I wanted her to ‘sign-off’ on the things I was posting to the internet. Here’s the funny part, I asked her for feedback while she was still praying. So, rather than, agreeing to listen to what I had written, she gave me a bit of a look for interrupting her prayer time and quietly asked if I could wait until she was done praying. Of course, keep Jesus at the centre and never let anyone, even your husband, push him off the throne!
Parents, you know that raising a family is not easy. I will leave you with this quote from Saint John Paul II. “Prayer joined to sacrifice constitutes the most powerful force for good in human history.”
Coming tomorrow: Lesson 2 – Never Stop Dating.