Hi Everyone – today I am re-posting the 11th top blog of 2017. When this originally went up in August, it came with a free offer for the latest e-book entitled, “Creating Your Family Crest.” I wrote this e-book with parents of young children in mind but it has been warmly received by parents of all kinds! You can get your free copy by subscribing to my blog or just send me an email and I will send it to you: brett@brettpowell.org. Enjoy the blog!
Research tells us that young children who have a close, affectionate relationship with mom and dad are less likely to experience anxiety or behavioral problems later in life.
Research also suggests that parents who bond with their children when they are young, are more likely to enjoy life-long relationships with them when they are adults.
Andrea and I believe similar insights apply to children in their relationship with Jesus. Children that form strong, affectionate bonds with Jesus early in life will more likely enjoy a relationship with Him as Lord later on as young adults.
We call this parenting principle Friendship before Lordship.
We want our kids to experience Jesus as an intimate and affectionate friend over a long period of time before encouraging them to embrace Jesus as Lord later in life: friendship before Lordship.
This paradigm is the foundation on which they can wholeheartedly make a decision to follow Him as Lord and want to later in life. Friendship is a foundation for Lordship.
The best gift parents can give their very young children is the opportunity to consistently experience Jesus as a friend and bond with Him in an affectionate relationship. The good news is that Jesus wants this for your children even more than you do and makes Himself available in this way.
The best gift parents give their very young children is to experience Jesus as a friend. Friendship before Lordship. Share on XSome families delay faith formation (intentionally or not) until their kids start preparing to receive the sacraments. In doing so we omit a fundamental time of bonding with Jesus as an affectionate friend.
In most situations, between infant baptism and first communion, there are six or seven years of opportunity for bonding with Jesus. That’s a lot of time for our kids to get to know Jesus personally as a friend.
I don’t want this to sound harsh but I will be direct: the first person to share with your kids, “Jesus loves you and wants to be close to you” shouldn’t be their Catechism teacher. And the first time they hear this message shouldn’t be in a class full of fidgety kids preparing to make their first confession or receive their first communion.
The home is the natural place to hear these words for the first time and many times over all throughout their young years.
Infants and young children are receptive to the faith and embrace the experiences we provide as a means to bond with Jesus. Especially so when the parents model the way by seeking their own intimacy with Him.
Here are six things parents can do to foster “Friendship before Lordship” in their home:
1. Be the hands and voice of Jesus. Jesus is not physically present to your kids. How can they experience His affection? Parents have the opportunity to be His hands and voice to their kids. This doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple and natural is always best. As you speak of His friendship and affectionate love for your children, have them sitting in your lap. Let them experience His delight by experiencing your delight. Hold them close, bless them, and remind them that Jesus blesses them through you. Speak to them as Jesus would and remind them that the words of encouragement are from Him. Be the incarnate connection to Jesus’ love.
2. Let your kids see you praying. Kids spell love: T.I.M.E. When your child sees you spending time with Jesus, your silent witness says nice and loud, “I love Jesus.” Your example of pursuing relationship with Him opens the hearts of your kids to Him too.
3. Talk to your kids about Jesus the way you talk about a friend. Little ones don’t understand theology. Keep it real. Use common language when you speak to your children about Jesus. “I think Jesus wants us to go visit the senior’s home on Sunday afternoon. What do you think?” Or, “I think Jesus might want you to forgive your sister so you can be friends again and enjoy the trampoline together.” Or, “Seems like you had a tough day; can we pray together and see if Jesus might have something to say about it?” Or, “I think Jesus gave you the sunrise as a gift for your heart. He’s reminding you that He is proud of you.”
Little ones don’t understand theology. Keep it real. Use common language when you speak to your children about Jesus. Share on X4. Invest in age-appropriate children’s bibles. We have a number of different bibles for different age levels. Bibles with lots of pictures and less text are great for little kids. As the kids get older, provide bibles with more text and less pictures. As well as being age-appropriate, the bibles should be child specific. You know your child and what is best. Consider the following: Readability – is the bible appropriate for your child’s reading level? Don’t make bible reading a stretch exercise. It should be at a comfortable reading level. Helps – most children’s bibles have helps such as maps, coloring pages, quizzes, and the like. Make sure these fit your child’s learning style.
5. Invest in good video resources. Watching faith-filled movies as a family is a great way to create a Friendship before Lordship home. Having movie night treats like popcorn, candy, and fun drinks communicates to your kids that ‘fun’ and ‘faith’ naturally go together.
Movie night treats like popcorn, candy, and fun drinks communicate to your kids that ‘fun’ & ‘faith’ go together. Share on X6. Invest in good audio resources. Consider how much time you spend in the mini-van. If you are driving anyway, why not listen to fun, dynamic, faith-building audio shows for kids? I strongly recommend parents check out CatChat.
Parents are first evangelizers of their kids. These six ideas will certainly help you create a “Friendship before Lordship” home. However, the witness of your relationship with Jesus as a friend is most important of all.
Between infancy and 7 years of age, parents have a wonderful opportunity to help their kids experience Jesus as an intimate and affectionate friend. I provided six ideas to help foster this relationship but there are many more. Please share your ideas with me and others in the comments section of this post. I look forward to hearing from you.
This was a terrific (and reassuring) post, Brett! I am relieved that we have set our boys off on their faith journey in a positive way. Thank you for your wisdom.
Allison! Thanks for the encouraging words. I’m happy it was a reassuring post, as it should be with your beautiful family. Great seeing last week, albeit briefly. Have a great start to the new school year.