Research tells us that young children who have a close and affectionate relationship with their mom and dad, are less likely to experience anxiety or develop behavioral problems. Research also suggests that parents who bond well with their toddlers, are more likely to enjoy life-long relationships with them when these children become adults.
Christian parents can apply similar insights when helping children develop a relationship with God. The end in mind for Christian parents, is that their adult children would live in a joyful, submitted relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. This includes obeying His commandments, being filled with the Spirit, observing the laws of the Church, being contagious in their witness, maturing in virtue and walking the narrow path of discipleship. Friendship comes before Lordship. Children that form strong, affectionate bonds of friendship with Jesus early in life will more likely stay committed in their relationship with Him as Lord as children get older. Friendship is the foundation of Lordship.
The best gift parents can give their children is the opportunity to know and consistently experience Jesus as a friend and bond with Him in an affectionate relationship. The good news is that Jesus wants this for children even more than parents do and makes Himself available in this way.
The best gift parents give their very young children is to experience Jesus as a friend. Friendship before Lordship. Share on XSome families delay faith formation until their kids start preparing to receive the sacraments. Then, the fundamental time of bonding with Jesus as an affectionate friend is omitted. In most situations, between infant baptism and first communion, there are six or seven years of opportunity for bonding with Jesus. That is a lot of time for young children to get to know Jesus personally as a friend.
I do not want this to sound harsh but I will be direct: the first person to share with your kids, “Jesus loves you and wants to be close to you,” should not be their Catechism teacher during a First Communion class. The home is the natural place to hear these words for the first time and many times over throughout the young years.
Infants and young children are receptive to the faith and embrace the experiences we as parents can provide as a means to bond with Jesus. Especially when parents model the way by seeking their own intimacy with Him.
Here are six things parents can do to foster “Friendship before Lordship” in their home:
1. Be the hands and voice of Jesus. Jesus is not physically present to your kids. How can they experience His affection? Parents have the opportunity to be His hands and voice to their kids. This does not have to be complicated. Simple and natural is best. As you speak of His friendship and affectionate love for your children, have them sitting in your lap. Let them experience His delight by experiencing your delight. Hold them close, bless them, and remind them that Jesus blesses them through you. Speak to them as Jesus would and remind them that the words of encouragement are from Him. Be the incarnate connection to Jesus’ love.
2. Let your kids see you praying. Kids spell love: T.I.M.E. When your child sees you spending time with Jesus, your silent witness says, “I love Jesus.” Your example of pursuing relationship with Him opens the hearts of your kids to Him too.
3. Talk to your kids about Jesus the way you talk about a friend. Little ones don not understand theology so keep it real. Use common language when you speak to children about Jesus. “I think Jesus wants us to go visit the senior’s home on Sunday afternoon. What do you think?” Or, “I think Jesus might want you to forgive your sister so you can be friends again and enjoy the trampoline together.” Or, “Seems like you had a tough day; can we pray together and see if Jesus might have something to say about it?” Or, “I think Jesus gave you the sunrise as a gift for your heart. He is reminding you that He is proud of you.”
Little ones don’t understand theology. Keep it real. Use common language when you speak to your children about Jesus. Share on X4. Invest in age-appropriate children’s bibles. Over the years, we had several different bibles for different age levels. Bibles with lots of pictures and less text are great for little kids. As the kids get older, provide bibles with more text and less pictures. You know your child and what is best for him or her. Do not make bible reading a stretch exercise. It should be at a comfortable reading level. Most children’s bibles have resources such as maps, coloring pages, quizzes, and the like. Make sure these fit your child’s learning style.
5. Invest in good resources. Watching faith-filled movies as a family is a great way to create a Friendship before Lordship home. Having movie night treats like popcorn, candy, and fun drinks communicates to your kids that ‘fun’ and ‘faith’ can go together.
Movie night treats like popcorn, candy, and fun drinks communicate to your kids that ‘fun’ & ‘faith’ go together. Share on X
6. Invest in good audio resources. Consider how much time you spend in the mini-van. If you are driving anyway, why not listen to fun, dynamic, faith-building audio shows for kids? I recommend parents check out CatChat.
Parents are first evangelizers of their kids. These six ideas will certainly help you create a “Friendship before Lordship” home. However, the witness of your relationship with Jesus as a friend is most important.
Between infancy and seven years of age, parents have a wonderful opportunity to help kids experience Jesus as an intimate and affectionate friend. I provided six ideas to help foster this relationship but there are many more. Please share your ideas with me and others in the comments section of this post. I look forward to hearing from you.