When in Lockdown, Improve Family Chores

The lock down has allowed families to slow down.

Every parent just took a deep breath and exhaled a sigh of relief. Most  families will try to maintain the margin in their schedules created by the pandemic.

In the absence of activities, our pace has gone from frantic to manageable. The extra time has allowed parents to take stock of family life – too often with a glass of wine! I posted an offer on my Instagram account to download my e-Book, “Creating a Family Crest.” It’s a simple read but it may help parents create their own crest, almost like a family mission statement. You can get it here.

The kids are less busy these days so they have more time to contribute around the house. Sorry kids but it’s true.

Andrea and I have been asked many times, “How do you handle chores around the house?” If you aren’t familiar with our family, some background to give context. We have 5 boys and 3 girls. Our oldest is married and started his own family, leaving 7 kids still at home. They range in age from almost 22 down to 11.

Most of our kids are athletes competing at a high level in multiple sports throughout the year. They are motivated to do well in school and have active social lives as well. Like most families, we are super busy.

Our home has several bedrooms and bathrooms to clean. We have an area where all the sports equipment is stored and kept orderly. We have multiple vehicles to maintain. We do a minimum of 12 loads of laundry per week. Every morning there are 9 lunches to make and every night we feed at least 9 people for supper with all the associated preparation and clean up that is required.

When moms ask Andrea, “How do you do it?” They are looking for insight into managing time and energy in a large family. Those are important but the real answer is spiritual and relational.

The two most important parts of our lives are intimacy with God and unity as a couple. Personal prayer, the sacraments, spiritual reading and taking retreats throughout the year are critical to deepening our relationship with Jesus. Taking time to be together as a couple – talking, walking, discussing deeper things is also key. We often share with each other what we are reading and learning from podcasts or edifying videos.

Without these two pieces of life settled, solid and consistent, the daily grind would tear us apart, leaving us depleted and divided. Strong words but very true.

The two most important parts of life are intimacy with God & unity as a couple. Without strengthening these two areas, life would tear us apart & leave us depleted or divided. Strong words but true. Share on X

All that said, there is a practical element that contributes enormously to our sanity and brings peace to the home. It can be summarized like this: privilege and responsibility are 100% linked.

If our kids want the privilege of playing competitive sport or going out on the weekend or having a cell phone or staying up later than usual or any other privilege, they first must accept and live out their responsibilities in the family.

Privilege and responsibility are two sides of the same coin.

Intentional parents know that privilege and responsibility are two sides of the same coin. Share on X

A practical way that privilege and responsibility are linked in our home is with chores. Everyone has the responsibility to contribute and chip-in around the house. When they do, they have more privileges.

We settled on a basic system many years ago and for the past 15 years or so we have simply kept that system fresh and relevant. There are four elements to the way we do family chores. 1) Morning Jobs, 2) Evening Jobs, 3) Supper Dishes, and 4) Deep Clean.

Morning and evening jobs look similar, they are jobs that can be done in 5 minutes or less. Depending on their age, each child is assigned 1-3 jobs to finish before school or before bed. This is scheduled in advance and usually lasts 6-8 weeks on the same job. For example: Empty the dishwasher; Fill dishwasher; Put all the breakfast food away; Turn off all lights and fans; Wipe down all the counters and tables; Sweep and swifter the floor, etc.

Supper dishes is self explanatory. With 7 kids at home, everyone gets a night. Perfect!

Deep clean happens on Saturdays. This is my favourite (I can imagine my kids enthusiastically nodding right now). During deep clean each child is assigned an age-appropriate area of the house. Deep clean means the entire area gets tidied and organized, all the furniture and electronics are dusted, bathroom sinks, tubs and mirrors get shined to a polish, the floor area is vacuumed (not swept) including under the furniture, and depending on the surface, floors are swiftered or handwashed. Each child will have 1-2 areas to deep clean along with their bedroom which also gets organized, dusted, vacuumed etc. Deep clean takes anywhere from 30 minutes for the younger kids up to 2 hours for the older kids. The house is entirely cleaned and done well once-a-week.

It’s not unusual for the kids to have an opportunity to make some spending money by completing an extra job or two on a weekend or when they have a day off school. These jobs include mowing the lawn, power washing, cleaning the gutters, washing a vehicle, cleaning out the fridge, washing all the windows and blinds on one of the floors or wiping down all the kitchen cupboards. The kids get paid based on how much and how well they work. The message is this: your deep clean is the minimum responsibility. If you finish that and do it well, you can make some extra cash with extra work.

That’s it, that’s how we handle chores: morning jobs, evening jobs, supper dishes, deep clean and cash-jobs on the weekends.

A few notes about the deeper meaning here. Family life is the greenhouse of character and faith development. The most important lessons are offered (and hopefully learned) within the four walls of the home.

Family life is the greenhouse of character and faith development. The most important lessons are offered (and hopefully learned) within the four walls of the home. Share on X

Andrea and I have always had the vision that our job is to raise adults not children. We aren’t done when the kids can take care of themselves, we are done when they can take care of others and want to.

Parental Vision: our purpose is to raise adults, not children. Our job is not done when the kids can take care of themselves, it is done when they can take care of others and want to. Share on X

With that end in mind, something as normal as household chores can become an opportunity for children of all ages to grow in virtue and learn that excellence honours God, inspires people and brings peace to the home.