Family Chores & Why They Matter

I’m taking a couple weeks off from posting to enjoy a short vacation visiting family and friends. After several readers downloaded the eBook, “Creating Your Family Crest” this past week, I thought I would re-publish a popular post from 2018. Enjoy! 

Andrea and I are often asked how we handle chores around the house. For those of you that are not familiar with our family, some background to give context:

• We have a large family, 5 boys and 3 girls, ranging from 22 years of age down to 10.
• Most of the kids are athletes competing on high level teams over multiple seasons throughout the year.
• The kids are motivated to do well in school and have active social lives as well.
• We have a house with several bedrooms and bathrooms to clean.
• We have a couple areas where all the sports equipment is stored and kept orderly.
• We have multiple vehicles to maintain and keep tidy.
• We do a minimum of 12 loads of laundry per week.
• Every morning there are 9 lunches to make and every night we feed at least 9 people for supper with all the associated clean up that is required.

Like most families, we are busy.

Many have asked, “How do you do it?” They are looking for a response focused on time and energy management, and that is important, but the real answer is spiritual and relational.

The two most important parts of our lives are intimacy with God and unity as a couple. Personal prayer, the sacraments, spiritual reading and taking retreats throughout the year are critical to deepening our interior life and relationship with Jesus. We go to Mass every Sunday with the younger kids and often attend weekday liturgies. We try to have weekly family prayer times and family outings.

Also, taking time to be together as a couple – talking, walking, discussing deeper things and sharing our hearts to build marital unity is also key. We often share with each other what we are reading and learning from podcasts and edifying videos.

Without these two pieces of our life settled, solid and consistent, life would tear us apart and leave us depleted and divided. Strong words but implicitly true.

The two most important parts of life are intimacy with God & unity as a couple. Without strengthening these two areas, life would tear us apart & leave us depleted or divided. Strong words but true. Share on X

All that said, there is a practical element in our life as a family that contributes enormously to our sanity and brings peace to the home. It can be summarized like this: privilege and responsibility are 100% linked in our home.

If our kids want the privilege of playing competitive sport or going out on the weekend or having a cell phone or staying up later than usual or any other privilege, they first must accept and live out their responsibilities in the family. Privilege and responsibility are two sides of the same coin.

Intentional parents know that privilege and responsibility are two sides of the same coin. Share on X

Yes, there are family standards in terms of the language they use, the media they engage, the way they treat their parents and siblings, their bedtimes, study times etc. etc. But another practical way that privilege and responsibility are linked in our home is with chores. Everyone has the responsibility to contributes and chip-in around the house and when they do, they have more privileges.

We settled on a basic system many years ago and for the past 15 years or so we have simply kept that system fresh and relevant.

There are three elements to the way we do family chores. 1) Morning Jobs, 2) Evening Jobs and 3) Deep Clean.

Morning and evening jobs look similar, they are jobs that can be done in 5 minutes or less. Depending on their age, each child is assigned 1-3 jobs to finish before school or before bed. This is scheduled in advance and usually lasts 6-8 weeks on the same job. Typical Morning/Evening Jobs:

• Empty the dishwasher
• Fill dishwasher
• Put all the breakfast food away
• Turn off all the lights
• Put laundry piles in kids’ bedroom
• Wash dishes that don’t go in the dishwasher
• Wipe down all the counters and tables
• Sweep and swifter the floor
• Put away all the shoes at the front door
• Empty the recycling, compost and garbage
• Sweep the deck
• Fold 20 pairs of socks
• Clean driveway

Now, on to deep clean which happens on Saturdays. This is my favourite (I can imagine my kids enthusiastically nodding right now). During deep clean each child is assigned an age-appropriate area of the house. Deep clean means the entire area gets tidied and organized, all the furnitutre and electronics are dusted, bathroom sinks, tubs and mirrors get shined to a polish, the floor area is vacuumed (not swept) including under the furniture, and depending on the surface, floors are swiftered or handwashed.

Each child will have 1-2 areas to deep clean along with their bedroom which also gets organized, dusted, vacuumed etc. Deep clean takes anywhere from 30 minutes for the younger kids up to 2 hours for the older kids. The house is entirely cleaned and done well at least once-a-week.

It’s not unusual for the kids to have an opportunity to complete an extra job or two on a Saturday or when they have a day off school. These jobs include mowing the lawn, washing a vehicle, cleaning out the fridge, washing all the windows and blinds on one of the floors or wiping down all the kitchen cupboards. And for these extra jobs, the kids get paid based on how much and how well they work. The message is this: your deep clean is the minimum responsibility. If you finish that and do it well, you can make some extra cash with extra work.

That’s it, that’s how we handle chores: morning jobs, evening jobs and deep clean on the weekends.

A few notes about the deeper meaning here. Family life is the greenhouse of character and faith development. The most important lessons are offered (and hopefully learned) within the four walls of the home.

Family life is the greenhouse of character and faith development. The most important lessons are offered (and hopefully learned) within the four walls of the home. Share on X

Andrea and I have always had the vision that our job is to raise adults not children. Our job is not done when the kids can take care of themselves, it is done when they can take care of others and want to.

Parental Vision: our purpose is to raise adults, not children. Our job is not done when the kids can take care of themselves, it is done when they can take care of others and want to. Share on X

With that end in mind, something as normal as household chores can become an opportunity for children of all ages to grow in virtue and the capacity to contribute as an adult.

Have a great week!